todayilived:

I told a friend that one day I want to be able to say “Today I put the past behind me…”  She asked me: “Why not today or now?”. And I couldnt answer here back. But you know what?! Now I can…

I’ve realized, I cannot keep letting myself down everytime you text me, or when I see you, or even when I hear a song that reminds me of you. I admit, I gave alot of myself to you, and I mean alot and its something I cannot take back no matter how hard I want to. I cannot keep doing this to myself and keep dwelling on what has been or could have been because its not going to get me anywhere in life.

Ive realized .. Even though I want to believe that Im the same girl I was before, the innocent girl who’d always make the right decisions in life, I have to accept the fact that I’m not. Im not that girl anymore, and you know what, Im fine with that, because of what I’ve gone through and what he has put me through, the poor choices I’ve made, almost loosing friendships that matter, the betrayal, pain and heartaches I’ve suffered, the stressful sleepless nights I’ve encountered, and the buckets of tears I’ve cried out; through all those mistakes, I’ve escaped from this as someone much better, much wiser & someone much much stronger. So I want to say thankyou … to him, to those who had eventually let me down, broken my trust and made me feel the worst I could ever feel. Because if it wasn’t for you all, I wouldnt be the person I am right now.

Im closing one chapter in my life and opening another. Its time to appreciate my life now and those who are part of it. Learn that you will make mistakes and certain people will disappoint you, let you down, hurt you, betray you or even break your heart, but forgive them because they have helped you learn about trust and the importance of being cautious to whom you open your heart to, and to trust your very own judgments and opinions and to keep focused on believing in yourself and all that your are capable of.